The Role of Failure in Success and Why You Should Embrace Setbacks
Failure. It’s a word that makes most people wince. It’s the knot in your stomach when things go wrong, the sting of rejection, and the sinking feeling of “not good enough.” Society has conditioned us to fear it, to avoid it at all costs, and to believe that failure is the opposite of success.
But what if we’ve been looking at it all wrong? What if failure isn’t the enemy but the teacher? What if every setback is actually a stepping stone, nudging us closer to our greatest achievements? The truth is, failure isn’t a dead end, it’s a detour. And some of the most successful people in history would tell you the same.
If this sounds like wishful thinking, let’s dive into why failure is not only inevitable but essential for success.
Failure As The Unseen Foundation of Success
Let’s start with a tale that’s practically folklore in the world of innovation: Thomas Edison and the light bulb. Before Edison successfully invented the light bulb, he failed over 1,000 times. When asked about these “failures,” he famously replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”
This mindset, seeing failure not as a loss but as part of the process is what separates those who succeed from those who give up. Edison’s story isn’t unique, either.
J.K. Rowling faced 12 rejections from publishers before Harry Potter became a global phenomenon.
Oprah Winfrey was fired from her first television job and told she wasn’t fit for TV.
Michael Jordan, widely regarded as one of the greatest basketball players of all time, didn’t make his high school varsity team on his first attempt.
These stories aren’t exceptions they’re proof that failure is part of every success story.
Failure as a Learning Experience
The problem isn’t failure itself, it’s the way we view it. Too often, failure is seen as a reflection of our worth or potential. But in reality, failure is feedback. It’s the world’s way of telling you, “Not this way, try something different.”
Take Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx. Before becoming a billionaire, she failed repeatedly in her attempts to launch a product. She credits her success to a childhood ritual encouraged by her father: every week, he’d ask her, “What did you fail at this week?” If she didn’t have an answer, he’d be disappointed. This reframed failure as something to celebrate, a sign that you’re trying, learning, and growing.
Instead of asking, “Why did I fail?” ask, “What did I learn?” This simple shift in perspective can transform setbacks into opportunities for growth.
The Emotional Side of Failure
Let’s be honest: no matter how much we intellectualise failure, it still stings. It’s hard to see the silver lining when you’re in the thick of rejection, disappointment, or embarrassment. That’s why it’s important to let yourself feel the emotions that come with failure.
Cry if you need to. Vent to a friend. Eat the chocolate. But then, when the storm has passed, pick yourself up and look at the bigger picture.
When Beyoncé’s 2011 album 4 leaked three weeks before its official release, it could have been a disaster. But instead of letting it derail her, she used the situation to connect with her fans, releasing a heartfelt statement and embracing the challenge. The album went on to be a critical and commercial success, proving that resilience is often more important than perfection.
Treat failure as a temporary state, not a permanent label. You failed, you are not a failure.
Why Women in Particular Need to Embrace Setbacks
Women are often conditioned to strive for perfection. From a young age, many girls are taught to play it safe, to avoid risks and to fear mistakes. But this perfectionist mindset is a barrier to growth.
Angela Duckworth, the psychologist and author of Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, found that resilience not talent or intelligence is the key to success. And resilience is built through failure.
Whether you’re climbing the career ladder, starting a business, or pursuing creative dreams, remember, failure isn’t a sign that you’re incapable. It’s a sign that you’re trying and that’s already a victory.
Tips for Embracing Failure
Reframe Your Mindset: Instead of fearing failure, see it as a stepping stone. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Usually, the answer isn’t as scary as you think.
Celebrate Small Wins: Success often comes in tiny increments. Celebrate progress, no matter how small, it’s proof that you’re moving forward.
Surround Yourself with Resilient People: Find a community of people who’ve embraced failure and come out stronger. Their stories will remind you that you’re not alone.
Keep Perspective: One failure doesn’t define you. Look at the bigger picture and remember that every great success story is built on a foundation of setbacks.
Try Again: The most important lesson of all? Don’t let failure stop you. Every time you try again, you’re one step closer to success.
Failure as Transformation
If there’s one takeaway from all of this, let it be this: failure is not the opposite of success, it’s a crucial part of it. It shapes you, strengthens you, and prepares you for the challenges ahead.
Think of failure as a sculptor, chiselling away at the parts of you that no longer serve your growth. Every setback is an opportunity to refine your skills, gain clarity, and build resilience.
The road to success is messy. It’s filled with potholes, detours, and wrong turns. But it’s also filled with lessons, growth, and moments of triumph.
So, the next time you stumble, don’t see it as the end of the road. See it as part of the journey. Embrace the mess. Learn from it. And remember the greatest successes aren’t the ones that come easily, they’re the ones you fight for, fail for, and ultimately, grow into.
Because in the end, failure isn’t something to fear, it’s something to thank.