How to Be the Woman You Once Needed

If you could go back in time and meet your younger self, what would you say? Would you offer her comfort on the days when she felt small? Would you tell her to hold her head high when the world underestimated her? Or perhaps, you’d simply remind her of just how strong, capable, and worthy she already was.

The truth is, we all have moments from our pasts when we desperately needed someone, someone to guide us, to encourage us, to believe in us when we doubted ourselves. But here’s the beautiful part: while we can’t go back and rewrite those moments, we can become that someone for others.

This is the power of stepping into the role of mentor, leader, or role model. It’s about being the woman you once needed. The one who could have made all the difference. And in doing so, you’ll not only inspire others, you’ll heal and empower the woman you used to be.

A Reminder of Who You Were

Take a moment to think about her. The younger you. The version of yourself who was just starting out, full of dreams and doubts. Perhaps she was trying to navigate her first job, unsure if she belonged in the room. Maybe she was struggling with self-worth, questioning whether she was enough. Or perhaps she simply needed to see someone who looked like her, sounded like her, and proved that success was possible.

For many women, there’s a gap where guidance should have been. A lack of representation, mentorship, or even just a kind word. The world wasn’t always built to uplift women, especially those breaking barriers. But the beauty of life is that we have the power to close that gap, not just for ourselves but for those who come after us.

Oprah Winfrey often speaks of her own struggles growing up in poverty and feeling like she didn’t belong. Today, through her leadership, philanthropy, and storytelling, she has become the very role model she wished she had as a young girl.

The Power of Representation

Representation matters. Seeing someone who has walked your path and succeeded can be transformative. For young women, role models aren’t just aspirational; they’re proof that their dreams are valid.

When Serena Williams won her first Grand Slam title, it wasn’t just a victory for her it was a victory for every young girl who looked like her and dreamed of a career in sports. Serena became a symbol of what’s possible when talent, grit, and belief collide.

Tip: Think about your own journey. What barriers did you face? What lessons did you learn? Sharing your story, even the messy parts, can inspire someone else to keep going.

Mentorship, A Gift That Multiplies

Being the woman you once needed isn’t about having all the answers it’s about showing up. Mentorship is one of the most powerful ways to do this.

A mentor doesn’t have to be perfect; she just has to care. It’s not about solving someone else’s problems but helping them see their own strength. Whether it’s offering advice, listening without judgement, or simply saying, “I believe in you,” mentorship has a ripple effect.

Former First Lady Michelle Obama has been a mentor to countless young women through her initiatives like “Let Girls Learn” and her best-selling book Becoming. Her willingness to share her own journey, the challenges, the failures, and the triumphs has inspired millions.

You don’t need to be a CEO or a public figure to be a mentor. Sometimes, the most impactful mentors are the ones who are present in everyday life a colleague, a friend, a neighbour.

Leading with Empathy

Leadership isn’t just about titles or positions; it’s about influence. And the best leaders are those who lead with empathy.

Think back to a time when you felt unseen or unheard. Now, imagine how different things would have been if someone had taken the time to truly listen and support you. As a leader, you have the power to create that experience for others.

Example: Jacinda Ardern, the former Prime Minister of New Zealand, became a global symbol of empathetic leadership. From her compassionate response to the Christchurch attacks to her handling of the COVID-19 pandemic, Ardern consistently prioritised humanity over ego.

 Empathy isn’t a weakness; it’s a superpower. Lead with kindness, and you’ll inspire loyalty, trust, and growth in those around you.

Building a Legacy

Being the woman you once needed isn’t just about the present it’s about the future. It’s about building a legacy that outlasts you.

Legacy doesn’t have to mean statues or headlines. It’s in the lives you touch, the opportunities you create, and the barriers you help break. It’s in the young women who look at you and think, “If she can do it, so can I.”

Example: Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the late US Supreme Court Justice, dedicated her life to fighting for gender equality. Her legacy isn’t just in the laws she helped change, it’s in the countless women who now walk through doors she opened.

Think about your own legacy. What do you want to be remembered for? What impact do you want to leave behind?

It’s Not About Perfection

Here’s the thing, being a mentor, leader, or role model isn’t about having it all figured out. You don’t need to be perfect to inspire others. In fact, it’s often your imperfections your struggles and setbacks that make you relatable and real.

The younger you didn’t need someone flawless. She needed someone honest. Someone who showed her that it’s okay to stumble, to grow, and to keep going.

The Full Circle

Becoming the woman you once needed is a full-circle journey. It’s taking everything you’ve learned, the good, the bad, and the ugly and using it to lift others. It’s about turning your experiences into tools for empowerment.

As you mentor, guide, and inspire others, you’ll find that you’re also healing and honouring the younger version of yourself. You’re proving to her that it was all worth it.

To every woman reading this you have the power to be the role model you once wished for. You have the wisdom, the strength, and the story that someone else needs to hear.

So, show up. Share your journey. Lead with empathy. And know that in doing so, you’re not just shaping the lives of others, you’re building a legacy that will ripple through generations.

Because being the woman you once needed isn’t just a gift to others, it’s a gift to yourself.