Parenting Styles and Balancing Tradition with Modern Approaches

Parenting. The word alone can stir up a mix of emotions, love, joy, anxiety and even the occasional eye twitch when your toddler decides to paint the wall with yoghurt (again). It’s one of the most rewarding experiences in life, but it’s also one of the most complex. Every parent is trying to figure out how to raise happy, kind, and resilient children in a world that’s constantly changing. And somewhere in the mix, there’s the tug of war between holding onto cherished traditions and embracing modern approaches.

Whether you’re a new parent Googling “how to get a baby to sleep” at 3 a.m. or a grandparent watching in horror as your daughter negotiates with her toddler over broccoli (“We don’t negotiate with toddlers!”), the question remains the same, how do we strike the right balance?

Gone are the days when parenting was simply about “because I said so.” Today, parents are navigating a world of endless advice, from TikTok parenting hacks to centuries-old traditions passed down through families. It’s a delicate dance, blending the wisdom of the past with the needs of the present. And while it’s no easy feat, finding that balance can be the key to raising well-rounded children who appreciate their roots while thriving in a modern world.

The Weight of Tradition

Tradition, for many of us, is the foundation of who we are. It’s the lullabies our grandparents sang to us, the Sunday family dinners where everyone gathered around the table and the cultural practices that shaped our childhoods. These traditions often come with a sense of comfort, identity and belonging.

Take, for example, the concept of respect for elders, which is deeply rooted in many cultures. In countries like India, children are taught to touch their elders’ feet as a sign of respect and gratitude. In Japan, the concept of “oya koko” encourages children to honour and care for their parents as they age. These traditions instil values of humility, gratitude and family loyalty qualities that are timeless.

But here’s the thing: traditions, while beautiful, aren’t always perfect. Some of them can feel rigid or out of touch with the realities of modern life. Take the age-old belief that “children should be seen and not heard.” While it may have been a norm in the past, today’s parents recognise the importance of giving children a voice, encouraging them to express their thoughts and feelings openly.

The challenge lies in deciding which traditions to carry forward and which ones to adapt or leave behind. And that’s where modern parenting comes in.

 The Rise of Modern Parenting

Modern parenting is a whole different ballgame. It’s not just rules and discipline, it’s about understanding your child’s unique personality, nurturing their emotional wellbeing and creating an environment where they feel safe to grow and explore.

Today’s parents are reading books, listening to podcasts and following Instagram accounts dedicated to parenting. They’re learning about everything from positive discipline to the importance of mental health. Terms like “gentle parenting” and “attachment parenting” have become part of the everyday conversation, prioritising connection over control.

Take Prince William and Kate Middleton, for example. The royal couple has been praised for their modern approach to parenting. Despite their royal duties, they’re often seen kneeling to speak to their children at eye level, a technique that shows respect and helps children feel heard. It’s a small gesture, but it speaks volumes about how parenting has evolved.

However, modern parenting isn’t without its challenges. The sheer amount of information available can feel overwhelming. Should you co-sleep or sleep train? Is screen time the enemy, or can it be educational? And let’s not even start on the debates about organic baby food versus store-bought. The pressure to “get it right” can be suffocating.

Finding the Balance

So, how do we navigate this maze of parenting styles? How do we honour the traditions that ground us while embracing the modern approaches that help us grow?

The answer lies in balance. Parenting doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing game. You can hold onto your cultural values while adapting them to fit your family’s needs. You can embrace modern techniques without losing sight of the lessons your parents and grandparents taught you.

For example, many families have found ways to blend traditional and modern parenting when it comes to food. Preparing traditional meals can be a way to connect children to their heritage, but it doesn’t mean you can’t introduce them to new cuisines or adjust recipes to be healthier. Who says you can’t make Grandma’s famous curry recipe with a gluten-free twist?

Similarly, discipline is an area where balance is key. Traditional approaches often emphasise respect and boundaries, while modern parenting focuses on empathy and communication. The two don’t have to be at odds. You can set firm boundaries while still listening to your child’s feelings and explaining the “why” behind the rules.

Real-Life Stories of Balance

One inspiring example is former First Lady Michelle Obama. Raised in a traditional household on Chicago’s South Side, Michelle was taught the value of hard work, respect and family. As a parent, she’s carried those values forward but adapted them to her daughters’ needs in a modern world. She’s spoken openly about teaching her daughters to stay grounded despite their unique upbringing in the public eye, blending her traditional values with modern parenting practices like open communication and encouraging independence.

Another example is the late Kobe Bryant, who often spoke about raising his daughters with a mix of discipline and love. While he instilled the traditional values of hard work and respect, he also embraced modern parenting by supporting their passions and encouraging them to pursue their dreams, whether in sports or beyond.

Tips for Balancing Tradition and Modernity

If you’re trying to strike the right balance in your parenting journey, here are a few tips to help:

1. Reflect on Your Values
   Take some time to think about the traditions and values that matter most to you. What do you want to pass on to your children, and why?

2. Adapt, Don’t Abandon
   Remember, traditions can evolve. You don’t have to follow them to the letter find ways to adapt them to fit your family’s lifestyle.

3. Stay Open to Learning
   Parenting is a journey, not a destination. Be open to new ideas and approaches and don’t be afraid to try something different if it feels right for your child.

4. Communicate with Your Children
   Whether you’re enforcing a traditional rule or trying a modern technique, explain your reasoning to your children. Help them understand the “why” behind your decisions.

5. Give Yourself Grace
   There’s no such thing as a perfect parent. You’re going to make mistakes, and that’s okay. What matters most is that you’re trying your best.

Parenting is one of life’s greatest balancing acts. It’s about creating a space where your children feel loved, supported and connected to their roots, to the world around them and to themselves. It’s not about choosing between tradition and modernity it’s weaving the two together in a way that works for your family.

So, whether you’re making your grandmother’s stew recipe or Googling “how to handle a tantrum in public” for the third time this week, remember this: you’re doing an incredible job. Parenting isn’t being perfect; it’s being present. And in finding that balance, you’re giving your children the best of both worlds a heritage to stand on and wings to soar.