How Social Media Changed the Way We Measure Progress (and What to Do About It)

There used to be a time when success was measured by personal milestones, getting a promotion, mastering a new skill or simply waking up one morning feeling proud of how far you’ve come. Progress was a quiet, personal affair, something you measured against your own potential and dreams. But somewhere along the way, things changed.

Enter social media, the ever-present gallery of curated lives, where everyone seems to be achieving something bigger, better and faster than you. Suddenly, progress isn’t about your own growth, it’s about how it looks in a filtered square or a perfectly timed TikTok reel.

Today, it feels like success is measured in likes, shares and followers. If your achievement doesn’t go viral, did it even happen? The pressure to perform, to show and to be celebrated by strangers has fundamentally reshaped how we view our own progress. But here’s the thing: real progress has nothing to do with algorithms or aesthetics. It’s time to take back control and redefine what success means to you because you’re more than a highlight reel.

The Social Media Effect: Why We’re All Feeling the Pressure

Let’s face it, social media is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it connects us, inspires us, and opens doors to opportunities we never thought possible. On the other, it creates a relentless comparison game that leaves us questioning whether we’re doing enough or worse, whether we are enough.

The problem lies in the illusion of perfection. Platforms like Instagram and LinkedIn have become showcases for the best moments of people’s lives: the dream job announcements, the exotic holidays, the gym transformations, the lavish weddings. What you don’t see are the rejections, the self-doubt or the tears behind the scenes.

Take Kylie Jenner, for example. With over 400 million Instagram followers, she’s often viewed as the epitome of success. Yet, in interviews, she’s admitted to struggling with anxiety and the immense pressure of living up to her own public image. If even billionaires feel the strain, what hope do the rest of us have?

Social media skews our perception of progress, making us believe that life is only valuable if it looks impressive to others. But progress isn’t always glamorous. Sometimes, it’s messy, slow, and deeply personal and that’s perfectly okay.

The Danger of External Validation

One of the biggest traps of social media is the constant need for external validation. A simple post about your achievement can either make you feel on top of the world (if it gets enough likes) or leave you questioning your worth (if it doesn’t).

Psychologists have even coined a term for this “social comparison theory.” It’s the idea that we evaluate ourselves based on how we stack up against others. And while a little healthy comparison can motivate us, too much of it can be toxic, leading to anxiety, low self-esteem, and a distorted sense of reality.

Consider the story of Essena O’Neill, a former Instagram influencer who had over half a million followers. In 2015, she famously quit social media, calling it “contrived perfection made to get attention.” She revealed how much effort went into creating her seemingly effortless posts, hours of posing, editing, and obsessing over likes. Her story was a wake-up call to many, highlighting how damaging the pursuit of online validation can be.

How to Take Back Control

So, how do we break free from this cycle and start measuring progress in a way that’s meaningful and fulfilling? Here are some practical steps:

1. Define Progress on Your Own Terms

Ask yourself: What does success mean to me? Forget about what looks good on social media or what others expect from you. Maybe progress for you is learning a new language, spending more time with family, or simply getting through a challenging week.

Tip: Write down your definition of success and keep it somewhere visible. Use it as a reminder whenever you feel tempted to compare yourself to others.

2. Limit Your Social Media Consumption

Social media isn’t going anywhere. But you can control how much influence it has over your life.

Try setting boundaries, like limiting your screen time or taking regular digital detoxes. You’d be surprised how much lighter you feel when you’re not bombarded with other people’s highlight reels.

Tip: Unfollow accounts that make you feel inadequate and follow ones that inspire or uplift you. Your feed should work for you, not against you.

3. Celebrate the Small Wins

Not every achievement needs to be groundbreaking. Progress often happens in the small, quiet moments like choosing a healthy meal, finishing a book, or having a difficult conversation.

Think of Olympic athlete Simone Biles. Even after stepping back from several events during the Tokyo Olympics to protect her mental health, she celebrated her eventual return to competition even though it wasn’t her most decorated performance. Her story reminds us that progress is about the journey, not just the medals.

4. Focus on Growth, Not Perfection

Perfection is an illusion, especially on social media. Instead of striving for flawless results, focus on growth. What skills have you developed this year? What challenges have you overcome? Progress isn’t about being the best it’s about being better than you were yesterday.

5. Practise Gratitude

When you’re feeling overwhelmed by comparison, gratitude can ground you. Take a moment to reflect on what you’ve achieved, no matter how small it seems. Gratitude shifts your focus from what you lack to what you have, reminding you of how far you’ve already come.

The Real Measure of Progress

At the end of the day, progress isn’t something you can measure with likes or followers. It’s about the person you’re becoming, the lessons you’re learning, and the impact you’re making, whether or not anyone else sees it.

Think about Maya Angelou, who once said, “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” That’s the kind of progress that truly matters not the kind that fits neatly into a square on your feed.

So, the next time you catch yourself comparing your life to someone else’s online, pause. Take a deep breath. And remember: you’re on your own unique journey, and that’s something no algorithm can quantify. 😊